Be Not Afraid

In the Bible, "be not afraid" is stated 365 times, one for every day of the year. The song lyrics, "Be not afraid I go before you always come follow me and I will give you rest, " played on repeat in my head during the hospice care of my grandfather. I sang it to him over and over when he looked in distress or when he coughed uncomfortably or when my soul longed for him to know he wasn't alone. Because although I sang it to him, through it I also found comfort. I found comfort in knowing the journey before him had already been walked, that he wasn't walking it alone. The footprints in the sand were Jesus' right next to his and where there was only one set I knew he was being carried.
In those hard moments, in those uncomfortable moments, in those why must he suffer moments knowing Jesus had walked before and opened the gates of heaven for our grandfather is what brought me peace. Through my peace I could offer him peace when he strained for breath or for comfort in the uncomfortable.
Dying slowly knowing you are on your way out isn't for the weak but for the strong, and Pepere was strong. In his death, he showed more strength than an average man and it was a privilege to be a present to see it. Deuteronomy 31:7 states "be strong and steadfast" and 31:8 continues with "It is the Lord who goes before you: he will be with you and will never fail or foresake you. So do not fear or be dismayed" Pepere's strength didn't come from him alone rather from the One who made him, and his faith which he upheld all the days of his life in the God he loved. The verses from the song Be Not Afraid can be found throughout the Bible, one in particular in Isaiah 43 struck me paraphrasing, you cross through raging waters, you walk through flames unharmed. If God can do all this then could he not carry Pepere lovingly in His arms through the gates of heaven. I pictured in my mind thousands of times that week, Pepere being lifted up into the arms of Jesus with Mary at his side going home. Oh how it hurts on this side of heaven to not be held in Pepere's arms any longer, but I still cling to these memories and to the words of this song.
The next part of the refrain be not afraid I GO BEFORE YOU ALWAYS challenged me to look where he went before us in the Bible. By the side of Pepere as he took his last journey I also began a journey to find a fresh new connection with my God, the one Pepere always looked to. I attend Mass and I participate in my faith and I try to live it, but I stumble and fall short. During this week where one I loved so much was giving the last of himself on this earth, I realized I need to give more, more of me to the One who goes before me. The verses below show where God went before his beloved and fought for them. Not only did he go before them but He also went after them.
In Deuteronomy 1:30 "The Lord, your God, who goes before you, is the one who will fight for you..." Again in Isaiah 52:12 "For the Lord go before you, and your rear guard is the God of Israel." Psalm 139:5 "Behind and before you encircle me and rest your hand upon me."
In knowing He continues to come after me and that He ushered Pepere home and followed him into his final resting place with Him for all eternity gives me comfort on this side. The comfort of knowing God follows me just as He followed Pepere to never be alone but to be lead and be followed from the front and the rear He surrounds us He protects us. I felt that so profoundly in moments with Pepere that week, where I sang the words and knew God was present was leading and remaining with us where we could not follow Pepere but God could.
Jesus also prepared a place in John 14:3 "And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back again and take you to myself, so that where I am you also may be." Jesus came and was present there with us. Pepere's place was prepared as for all of us there is a place, and He came back not only in the resurrection, but in that time in that space in that room with Pepere. His presence was felt in all the faces and all the love that surrounded Pepere. When I sang those words it was with true belief that Jesus had prepared Pepere's place and his time had come to go be with Him.
The last part of the refrain COME FOLLOW ME AND I WILL GIVE YOU REST. That's the reason we are baptized that's why we say yes to Jesus, let us follow Him so his rest may be ours. Complete peace in the arms of God only happiness to those who follow him all the days of our life because heaven is an eternity of happiness.
Matthew 11:28 "Come to me all you who are labored and burdened, and I will give you rest." The burdens on Pepere were great. His body was continuing to fight to breathe to live, his spirit was strong until the moment he left this world. I sang that refrain less than an hour before he breathed his last and I know Pepere gave all he had to give in this world, he labored his whole life to make the world a better place around him and he found his rest in the loving arms of Christ.