Anna is very upset that he is missing and looks for him all the time, we will probably have to replace him. Beau hasn't talked about it much, and so far Luke is clueless. But the kids will move on and find joy in the present, like taking a bath in the middle of the day, or watching tv in daddy's bed when your sick, or eating candy hearts and reading what they say. If I could just be more childlike and look for joy somewhere else or in the little things even when everything else just seems joyless. Like today things are pretty rotten for many of my friends, but Luke made me smile by befriending a little 20 month old and giving her first tea party. I can't stop smiling with the memory of him pouring her tea and her spilling half of it and then just enjoying having a cup with no lid. It was too cute. Joy is always all around us we just have to open our eyes and see it through the suffering or around the suffering or in spite of the suffering.

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